da incorrigible SAZEAL

Dear Mama...

I would like to start from the time you brought me into this world... And the pain! The pain you went through when I came into this world... for a whole 9 months! And amidst this pain, a smile burst on your face when you saw me for the first time.
Tears welled up in your eyes when I said my first word... that first word which was incomprehensible, yet so clear and sweet to you. You enjoyed everytime I pronounced my words upside down with my green tongue... your heart stopped beating everytime I fell down, yet you prodded me to get up and walk...

When I was 2, you came to know I was suffering... they called it Bronchitis. I heaved and cried and your world stopped rotating. You couldn't eat when I found it difficult to breathe... And again, yet again, you cried till very late in the nights... It hurt you when I could not play with boys of my age. And you sat with me and inspired me to read, write, and draw... you taught me how to be strong...

You spent each and every moment of your life thinking about me, caring for me. You made sure no one in the family does what I cannot enjoy. Foods that I could not eat didn't find a way inside the house... so much so that poor little Smit had to sacrifice his likes and dislikes for my sake. And he was only too young to sacrifices.

Then I grew up. I don't know whether I grew up to your expectations. I don't know if I gave you any joy from my side, but I sure did give you a lot of pain. Like every enthusiastic teenager, I had developed some new fanged ideas, some ideologies and some idiosyncracies... my priorities had started changing. I had lesser time to spend with you when you needed me. You waited for me past dinner, when I was hanging out with my friends. And then I answered back to you. I was in my own world. I know now that it pained you. But mom, you were always the most important person of my life. Consiously or Subconsiously, you were always in my heart and on my mind.

Then probably I matured. I had become more sober, maybe more understanding. I did stay with you, but my time could never be yours. I know now, as I always have, that you sacrificed your whole life just to bring me up well.

And now I am thousands of miles away, leaving you so much more alone. How miserable do I feel for that! Sometimes I actually think what is important... A career away from home, away from you? or being with you?
Obviously, you also want me to be a successful man and a good human being... and that i will be.

A thanks to you will seem so lame, so i end it just like this... luv you,

Sazeal